life is good

So here I sit in my headquarters, reflecting on the past month. Much has happened and the funny part is I didn't realize how much until now. I just got home from filming some Friends & Wellwishers right now (after maybe 1 or 2 smaller things we can finish the episode). We filmed it at a suite in the Grand Californian at Disneyland. Wred's friend has it for the day so naturally we took advantage.

I started school about a week ago and so far it's pretty chill. I'm taking Sociology and Human Sexuality online and taking Costuming and Basic Voice at the school (Goldenwest). One thing I was afraid about Voice (besides singing) was being the only guy. Turns out half the class are guys. It's Costuming where I'm the only guy. It's especially awkward because its a class of 12ish and we all sit around a large table and I just awkwardly spin in my chair looking off into space. At least I can say I'm the hottest guy in the class hahaha.

Work has been pissing me off as usual with the scheduling. At first they didn't give me any of the days I told them I can't work off. Then I told them again I can't work Tuesday or Thursday and they said ok. The past two weeks they have given me only Tuesday off (and it says "unavailable") so they took only half of my schedule into account. Grrr.

Right now I'm working on two scripts that I will hopefully use in the future. One I am writing on the computer and the other I'm writing in a notebook at school. I'd do them both on the computer but drama scripts are boring to write and when theres more interesting stuff to do like surf the web I do it. The computer one I'm writing is a fantasy called Dreamquest and the hand written like I stated before is a drama titled Copenhagen. I will not reveal any more than that.

The next few months are holding so much excitement I can't wait. So much is coming out! The new Eluveitie cd, the new Finntroll cd, Final Fantasy XIII (still kind of deciding on that), Pokemon Soul Silver (Silver was my favorite game as a kid so a remake is cool), Clash Of The Titans, and naturally Avantasia's "The Wicked Symphony" and "Angel of Babylon" albums. So stoked.

And a little footnote, Mass Effect 2 is absolutely amazing. If you haven't played it, do and reap all of it's delightfully entertaining benefits.

beggs and eacon

Since I have returned from camp things have been somewhat crazy. I had problems at home (that no longer seem a problem) and still struggling with other uncontrollable thoughts and emotions. Other than that I'm fine and dandy.

School books are stressing me out at the moment. They are much too expensive. I wish I could buy the previous editions but they frak with you by switching chapters around. Greedy publishers. I just with I had more money. Mass Effect coming out in a week doesn't help matters (though I think I'll hold off on it until books are out of the way even though it will be hard).

Speaking of which I got my Xbox back from repairs today. I was hoping they'd send me one with an HDMI port seeing as its been 2 years since they manufactured they without them. But naturally with my luck they had an HDMI-less one with my name on it :/. Though no complaints since I got a free repair and a free month of gold membership. No games to play online though.

I have also been looking at cars since my dads going to buy me one. So far I found a T-Bird I really like but am awaiting a response from the seller. Pretty excited. I will finally learn to drive that way I can finally get a real job (hopefully involving film).

The night we got back from camp I got a new tattoo. I'm really proud of it and thankful that I have such an awesome artist. Heres a picture

Apparently I love Zelda

Hunting High and Low

So right now I'm up in Lake Arrowhead with my church family having a fantastic time. We have an awesome cabin that blows last year's out of the water (no creepy paintings, fake jacuzzis, tables with naked women carved into them, or rooms we are not allowed to enter). So far I have indulged in games of Sweat, hot tubbing, delicious food, sledding in Big Bear, and some game in which they have to guess the person through descriptions. They are playing it right now but I am a little weary so have decided to stay out of the fray. Tomorrow morning we leave which is a total bummer because it feels like we just got here.

But the most important part of this trip is God. We are here to learn his word, to fellowship together, and speak to him personally. We have been having these awesome secluded sessions in which we just bask in His glory and hear what He has to say. The main theme had to do with humanity and sin so personally I needed to know what I was doing wrong. I know I am not perfect but I strive to be good enough to follow in the footsteps of Jesus. I can only hope so far I'm doing a good job of it (though I know I could be doing much much much better).

So here I sit on this here laptop de Cory listening to them making a ruckus upstairs hoping that the roof doesn't fall in on us (it sure sounds like it is). Wred is across from me working on drums and synths for Cory's music. Now he just went upstairs to take a break. I am alone. Listening to Sonata Arctica. Life is good.

Glædelig Jul

So Christmas was quite fruitful this year. I spent so much time worrying about what other people wanted and not what I wanted so my parents took matters into his own hands. They got me a laptop in which I am writing this blog. I'm pretty stoked about it cause now I can write scripts and stuff in the privacy of my own room. Lets just hope I'm not lazy.

Back in the real world, life has been confusing for me. I really hate having feelings. They love to trick me every chance they get and just make me feel miserable. The only things I like when it comes to having them if you know how people feel and it makes you not want to hurt them. Otherwise I kind of wish I was emotionless. No, I take that back because then I would not feel the joy of God. I just wish these certain feelings would leave me be. Here's to hoping.

Not much has changed.

Christmas is right around the corner. I have gotten my shopping done (at least I hope so) but I have no idea what I even want haha. But that isn't important. I want Jesus to have an awesome birthday. That is what matters.

I spent all of last week working which wasn't very fun. But this week is actually pretty free so I love it. Same with next week. But what to do with this free time? I finished The Office season 1-5. I have Netflix now so I'm probably going to find myself watching TV shows all day. It sucks.

Lately I've been finding myself in confusing emotional states. Its something I grow weary of but only God can help. I'm stoked for the Vision retreat that way I can find myself closer to him and his answers will be much clearer.

Sorry for the bland and boring post I haven't posted in a while but life is uneventful

Change

It's amazing how much can change in the blink of an eye. Sometimes it's almost impossible to wrap my head around it. I've been pretty private about it the past few days but I guess I could supply some insight.

I was "dating" a girl for a few weeks when the other night she decided she wanted to be with someone else more. It's weird for me to come out and say something like this seeing as I don't like to get too private on here but I had to write about it because it's been on my mind. Kind of sucks when someone chooses another over you. Almost as if you aren't good enough. But at the same time I realize we were two totally different people (with similar tastes but clashing personalities) so even as much as we could have wanted it to work, it wouldn't have. But it gives me hope. Hope that I will find someone more compatible and better for me. Someone who I don't have to sit there and question whether they still want to be with me or not. But now I don't think I'm ready to start anything.

My life is so far from being set right. Maybe I'll feel better about it when I start driving that way the world seems more accessible and I don't have to rely on the kindness of others. Once I drive I will be able to get a better job or maybe even attend a few more auditions. But fear holds me back. And laziness. I suppose the best thing I can do right now is pray that I find the courage to grow up. Change is a scary thing.

Well sorry for all that sappy stuff. To answer your question I'm fine and over that girl situation. I found myself flirting the next day haha. Which is weird because I usually only do that to Dalynn to make her uncomfortable. Seems like I'm growing some huevos.

The land is silent...before the stoooorm!!

Last night I went to see Ensiferum (one of my many favorite bands). Also playing was a band called Blackguard who I'm quite fond of as well. We met the guitarist mistaking him for the merch guy (how often to band members of signed bands do that?) and talked to him for a good while about the music business. It was funny because he had an accent and hes from Canada. Damn French Canadians...anyways we saw Petri of Ensiferum walking around the venue in a cowboy hat barely being noticed by people (though he was stopped for a conversation now and again). I wanted to take a picture with him (which I was going to bring my moms camera for but ultimately didn't because I am a fool). I tried telling Cory to take a picture with my phone but he wouldn't so we ended up not approaching him. After we talked to the guy from Blackguard we decided we should talk to Petri but he never appeared again (well until Ensiferum played).

I bought an awesome sweatshirt because mine is getting somewhat old. Cory wanted a shirt but had no money so we walked away from the merch table over to around the bar area. Then it struck me that I should buy Cory a shirt. So I started walking back over there and Cory was puzzled so I told him I'm buying him a shirt. He protested but I didn't give him a choice. I love when we get those sudden urges to do something kind for someone. I wish I was like that more often, especially after reading several passages at givesmehope.com. Which is an amazing site btw and I suggest you go on it.

Anyways Blackguard was fantastic and had a giant gong on stage which the singer would hit throughout the songs. They had great energy which I didn't get to fully appreciate because we sat down. The pit at The Galaxy is very small and there was some jerky guy whos father we met upon entering the venue. He was an oddity and would do funny hand motions when the band played. ANYWAYS so we watched the bands sitting down and were extremely tired so I wish it could have been different. But then Ensiferum came on. We were still sitting and still tired but I thoroughly enjoyed them. And this is weird for me to say (and it was probably cause I was worried for a certain person who I was texting at the time) but it got to a point where I wished there set would end. But at the same time I'm glad it didn't because they had an awesome setlist that Cory could not appreciate as much as me because he's anti old Ensiferum (I love old Ensiferum). Anyways it was a great time end of story. I just wish a certain hangout would have happened the previous day but I got to spend some time with my friend Britney instead so it was still a good day.

In his hands

I know I've said this many times before, but its funny where life will take you. No scratch that. Where God will take you. You always think you have everything planned and its going to be super smooth but oft times it gets crumpled into a ball and thrown out the window and God's plan goes into action. I really like it. It might sound weird for me to say that I'm glad my plans don't go as planned but the reason I like it is because what I want to happen is nothing compared to what God wants to happen. It doesn't matter what I want to unfold. Plus I really like the surprises even if they end up being nasty. They make for life lessons and great stories.

The past few weeks I've been on my toes a lot. I mean its one of the most confusing things ever but I trust God will take care of me. It also reveals to me what I want out of situations. So in a sense God's plan is in full force but at the same time I'm learning. Thus I can choose to work through the situations or just walk away. Then God can chuckle to himself and say "I knew it".

I try not to dwell in the future. At least not in the distant future. I live day by day. In high school I would always dwell in the future and I would always be worrying. But of course at that time I had not accepted Jesus as my savior. But having him in my life makes everything so much easier and takes so much burden off my shoulders. I love it.

Halloween on the horizon

Halloween is a mere couple of days away and even though I am 21 years old, it still tends to excite me. I have a costume, but out of the fact I want to surprise people at Vision tomorrow I will not say what it is. I probably still get excited about it because I like dressing up (I also cosplay. I blame it on drama class in high school). I am spending my actual Halloween going to Rocky Horror with Brittany and Kylie. I don't like Rocky Horror, but I love my friends and am perfectly willing to sit through it for them. Plus another excuse to wear my awesome costume. We have a coincidental theme going on with our costumes.

But after Halloween is said and done it's back to the real world. Not only am I probably going to be working to the bone for the next few months, but holiday pressure is going to get to me. Barf.

Lately I've been in a certain situation. One of which isn't by any means a bad situation to be in, just a confusing one. I haven't been in this situation in a few years so I don't really know how to handle it like I used to. Even though the situation I'm in is the same type of situation as in the past, its definitely far different. I want to know what the next step to take is, but I'm going to have to wait. God likes to keep us on our toes. Which I love because it allows one to follow what he want's rather than what one desires in his/her own heart. I would love to see how this situation pans out.
My costume is contained within this picture. And for all you know, it could be one of the princesses.

That'll do pig...that'll do....

Well I think its about time for another update for those who care.

Lately I've been feeling like I've been wasting time on certain things like playing video games. I could be using that valuable time that I can never reobtain to write scripts and make movies but I'm not. I need to get my priorities straight but with my ADD it seems like video games and television are the only things that can hold my attention for prolonged amounts of time. I hate it. It holds me back so much. I would be so much farther along in life if I had an attention span and if I didn't procrastinate. Ugh. At least if I'm playing video games I should be playing Halo online with my friends that way I'm having fun with them and chatting. But I don't have Halo or an online membership on Xbox. Lately I feel less attached to video games and feel like I should just sell them but at the same time, games coming out in the future keep me attached to them. I kind of wish it were the 1930s or something where I have nothing better to do than read and write. No video games, no tv, no problemo. What makes it worse is I bought a new HD tv yesterday. As much as I think the tv is beautiful, it doesn't help my situation. My computer is also another enemy of mine. I mean I could be using it to write scripts but pen and paper actually holds my attention especially since computers hold many of distractions.

Anywho I'm starting to dislike work but appreciate it all the same. If I didn't have it, I'd be wasting even more time with video games and the computer. But I don't like the way I'm treated by guests. Especially since most of them aren't from our country initially, they don't realize its rude to interrupt you while you are helping someone, or whistle at you to get your attention, or to yell for your attention from ten feet away and wave you over as if your some sort of dog. I want to be able to ignore them but at the same time I'm getting paid for it. I prefer cashier because people don't ask me questions that I can't answer due to my limited knowledge of electronics and because I don't really get treated lame. But standing there ringing people up for hours on end gets dull.

I have come to realize I wrote kind of a bit there so I will shut up for now. I'm going to listen to some Wintersun and be emo. Minus the emo. Plus the epicness of Wintersun. And real epicness not the type where someones like "wow that pizza tasted epic". Eff that steal my word and destroy it will you...well I'm starting to wear soccer shirts so if that becomes a fad I know someones spying on me. And I will end them. End transmission.