Powerless

Sometimes I try so hard to be a master of my own destiny. So when situations come about that I feel powerless, it hits me pretty hard. It doesn't help that I'm super impatient when it comes to the learning process so when something seems set in the future, I just torture myself by wanting it so bad.

One thing I struggle with controlling are my feelings. Lately it seems I have been doing well when it comes to that but then tonight...it just seems like I have no control. Theres a person I have obtained feelings for...but problem is the only way we communicate is facebook. I feel kinda like a creep talking to her sometimes. I really don't know why seeing as I don't tend to say weird things most of the time. It's gotten to a point where I'm a little too intimidated to ask her to hang out or even for her phone number. But who knows maybe its because I've been locked in the house all day and all this will be gone in the morning.

As for my future, I'm pretty sure I'm going to get knighted at work someday. Judging from the fact everyone there loves me, it seems almost set in stone. But thats also where the problem could lie. If I'm such a talented squire, would they want to promote me? Some of the other squires seem to think I'm going to get the shit end of the stick. But I have to take into account the reason they aren't knights is because of their bad attitudes. Then theres so much training involved. I'm currently training to take the apprentice knight test which will enable me to learn the fights, games and horse riding. Problem is my body isn't quite there yet. The knight training me seems confident I will be apprentice knight come time the new show gets put in at the end of the year. But I haven't even passed my stick test yet (even though I ironically am doing fighting in the show regardless) and my trainer doesn't seem to think I'm even ready for that. I want it so bad but it doesn't seem to be happening fast enough. That's a stupid attitude for me to have but I will not let it effect my work and determination. It just depresses me a little.

This post was a little bit of a drag but I need to get it all off my chest somehow. God will quell my heart soon enough.

Not a good week

So this past week is probably the worst one I can possibly remember. And I hate to sound like I'm complaining but this is the best way I can vent with out stealing a bola from work and crushing someones skull in.

I got in two car accidents in one week. The first one I rear ended someone so that was my fault. Lucky for me both our cars was fine but he still took my information. The second time was not my fault and I was the one that was rear ended. Talk about karma. My car again was fine but the other car....well the front end got a bit messed up.

On top of that one of my best friends moved away on Friday. Thursday we had a bonfire for her in which my foot got cut open (I've been wearing a bandage ever since). But on Friday we took her to the airport and it was....really hard. I went to work afterward having to do two shows that night. And I'm in the midst of working an entire week straight without a day off.

And finally to make things worse...well this didn't occur last week but tonight...I went to my old place of employment and saw some friends there. They were talking about hanging out after work in front of my face and didn't even bother to invite me. I even said "thanks for the invite guys" and they straight up ignored me. Now this makes me wonder if the only reason they ever invited me to hang out was because they knew Ivy would be there. Not to toot my own horn but from what all my friends have told me I am a GREAT friend. I definately do not deserve to be treated like this especially since I bend over backwards for some of these people. One things for sure I'm never asking them to hang out again.

Sorry for all the complaing again its so much frustration I just had to let out in some way. My next post will hopefully be me going back to my positive happy self.

A year of news in a nutshell

It's been nearly a year since I made a post so I think its about time to make an update since so much has happened to me.

As of January I've been a single man and honestly, it's quite fun. I have yet to meet a girl that I actually click with though. But I know what that will come in good time. I trust that God has an amazing girl set aside for me. The only girl I would consider at the moment is moving far away so thats really a bummer for me. Though I will put my friendship with her before anything. But girls are complicated creatures. I seem to come across alot that seem to like me but then I come to find out they only like to talk to me because I give them attention. They won't bother trying to contact me until I cut off communication then they seem to be interested. Oh well I guess that makes me job easier. But again, though I'm typing quite a bit on the subject, I am patiently waiting. I don't care if its another 2 years of singleness for me. If the next girl is great it will all be worth it.

I also obtained a new job a few months ago. It's one that I have posted about before stating how much I wanted said job. I'm now a squire at Medieval Times which honestly is not as glamorous as I would have hoped but that hasn't stopped me from working harder than I have ever done. At this rate I'm hoping knighting will be not too far off. But at the same time I am not holding my breath.

The past two days I spent at Anime Expo (last years I posted about two posts ago...that just goes to show how informative I've been this year). I went with my best friend Cory and even though he is a man who is not into that kinda stuff, he seemed to have a good time. I made so custom Tron Legacy programs so we wore those the first day and the next day I wore my retro Tron costume and he went as Buzz Lightyear. As much as I try, I can't quit that damn costume.

And there you have it my recent days in a nutshell. Hopefully my next post won't be super far off. Typing what I'm feeling out sure does relieve me of a bit of stress :).